Tonsillitis…

I’ve been sick.

As most bad things I’ve experienced in my (brief) life, it’s funny how they don’t seem that bad once they’re over. When it’s happening it seems like the worst thing possible. You cannot imagine how you’ll be able to survive that pain, go through that obstacle or overcome that probation. But you do, and when you do, it seems that whatever happened was not that bad, the pain was not as acute as you thought at the time, the riddle was not that difficult the feeling was not that overwhelming.

Back to my sickness. It was just a normal tonsillitis.

“You said normal? Do you know the pain I had? Do you imagine the magnitude of the sore throat? Do you realize the fever and how it made me feel?” – I guess this is what I would reply two days ago.

Ok, it was a bad tonsillitis, but still it’s sore throat and fever!

“Sore throat, sore throat…”

I felt like if I was badly beaten. It was like if someone spanked me while I was asleep.

“Badly beaten? It was a stampede! All the animals in the jungle joined and rushed through my room! And then again!”

Ok. I felt like mashed potatoes. And I don’t like mashed potatoes.

I didn’t want to sleep but I was sleepy.

I was not hungry. It was painful when I ate or drank.

I didn’t feel like playing. But I was irritated because I actually wanted to play. Or at least I wanted to be able to do something. But when I began doing something it hurt and I didn’t want to do it anymore!

I wanted to go to school and I wanted to play with my friends, but I couldn’t get 10 feet away from my bed without my head aching really bad.

I didn’t like the medication. It was awful and tasted like bitter almond syrup. And I don’t like almonds. Much less bitter ones. I guess that’s why I called it the “bad taste” and cried to mom “I don’t want to take the bad taste today…”

But then it was over. And the sky was blue again, the sun began to shine… And life is back on its tracks…

It was not so bad after all.

“Not so bad? Shut up. You’re giving me a headache… again!”

My angel!

Life is a rollercoaster.

It’s full of ups and downs.

It is good and the next day is bad.

It’s dark and then you see the dawn.

After every storm you find the calm.

These are feelings I can understand…

When my belly aches it doesn’t last forever.

Whenever I feel disoriented my mom comes along and helps me find the way.

My diaper won’t be wet forever, nor will my hunger last. Once again, the angel I call mom will fly in and save me.

I know this metaphor is not original. I know others have said and wrote the same. I’m just not sure if they have found their safety belt for the ride. I have, and she is beautiful!

(Image from http://flic.kr/p/5YdZxf)

Grandpa

I remember my grandpa. He was big and old. And he had a powerful, deep voice.

Every Sunday we would go and have lunch with him. It was very nice.

My father said that when he was younger, grandpa was always serious. Dad thinks he was very stiff and austere. It seems to me they didn’t play together that much. But he was not like that with me. We played a lot.

My grandpa was very sweet. He was never tense and his tone was always gentle to me. He had long, white beard. It was very soft, almost like cotton. I used to sit on his lap and play with his beard hairs, curling them between my fingers…

My parents tell me that grandpa is gone, now. They tell me he became a star, and that I can look up to the sky at night and see him. I’m sure he’s the most shiny star in the sky!

Sometimes I can’t exactly remember his face. But I can perfectly recall the feel of his beard… and the sound of his voice.

(Image from http://flic.kr/p/aEdbyR)

Pacify me…

The pacifier is the modern symbol of babies. It’s very difficult to find out a little baby without the pacifier. A few years ago every baby would suck her own thumb. Now they switched to the pacifier.

As it is very important, there’s not a single book about babies without a chapter about pacifiers. How it should be used. When to use and when not to use. The advantages and disadvantages of its use.

All the pediatricians have something to say about it. Some consider its benefits. It pacifies the baby (hence its name), allowing the baby to grow calm and peaceful. It helps babies to fall asleep facilitating their rest. There are even studies and arguments about the reduction of the sudden death syndrome by the use of pacifiers!

Others argue about how babies become addicted to pacifiers. They also refer its effect on the teeth of the little children. Or how it might affect the capability of the baby to correctly breastfeed.

Like most things there are pros and cons. But for me, the thing is I don’t like it! I don’t feel confortable with it. It’s not a question of how it looks (although I’m a girl, I’m too young for those considerations). It’s not about the impact it will have on my teeth when I grow or any other of the hindrances you read in books. I simply don’t like it! And it’s not a question of education either. My sister received exactly the same education that I did and she loves her pacifiers. She’s two years older than I am and it’s impossible to make her forget that tiny piece of silicone.

So, I’m not a “pacifier baby”. I don’t know what that might tell about me or my personality (probably nothing, right?). But, please don’t try to shut me with that piece of plastic whenever I cry. It only makes me more angry… and less pacified.

(Photo courtesy of justwalkedby.com)

Feeling good!

Yes, I’m feeling good… Why wouldn’t I?

Life goes on fine! Dad just looks at me all the time and he’s the one babbling… swings around with me in his arms and kisses me! Mom holds me softly, and gently sings me nice, sweet tunes… and she feeds me. And she feeds me good! And my sister? She still doesn’t get that I’m way smaller than her, so she tries to hold me and kiss me, but she tends to do it the hard way (or at least harder than I can stand). But in the end, she always says “I’m sorry, Mia” in her sweet 2 year old voice so I can’t hold it against her, can I? When she says “Mia you’re ma’vellous” she gets me every time… and I haven’t seen much of this world yet…

So allow me not to look at all those other things and themes that seem to occupy all your grown up minds… But for me it’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new life for me and I’n feeling good…

Everything will be fine

It was my father’s fault. Not mine. My father’s.

I shouldn’t tell you this, but I have confidence in you. Please don’t tell no one about this. I wouldn’t stand if the kids in school would learn about this!

I was asleep. Completely asleep. According to my father there are 2 phases during sleep (or are there 3? I don’t remember, but that is not important…). And I was in that phase when you are completely asleep. When nothing that happens around you can take you from the numbness of your mind. Even if someone talks to you, you include it in your dreams. And you continue to sleep. And that’s how I was. Completely asleep! And in my dream I wanted to pee! I was really in need to pee! And so I dreamed I called my father. In my dream I shouted and shouted. In the end I was screaming! “Dad, I need to pee!”. But he just wouldn’t listen. And there I was! So I stood in y bed, I pulled my pajama pants down… and I peed! It was good. It felt like I was expelling all my demons away!

And then I woke. I was standing in my bed, and my most fluffy friend, the Tigger, was completely wet! And the wall in front of my bed was… leaking?!

What happened Tigger? Did you pee?

On that moment my father entered the room and all of the sudden I understood. And I started crying.

“- This was your fault, dad. I screamed that I needed to pee and no one listened. You should have come quickly and you should have taken me to the toilet in time. It’s all your fault!

– It’s ok, Zee. Don’t worry. Come with dad and don’t worry. Everything will be fine.

– How can it be fine. Look at the Tiggger! He’s completely soaked!

– Don’t worry, baby. Mom and daddy will fix everything.”

And with those words my father took me in his arms and carried me to his bed. I don’t remember anything more. I went back to sleep. And when I woke up in the morning I was back in my bed. And everything was fine. And the Tigger was there, nice and smiley… as always.